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Dear All,

This past Monday evening, my Dad received a call informing him that my mom was en route to the hospital. She is in the ICU and will enter hospice if she is released.

It’s okay–and awful–all at once. Mostly okay, since Mom seems to be resting well and fairly comfortable.

When Mom awakened to see me at her bedside today she said: “You look like someone I know.”

I replied: “That’s good since I’m your daughter!”

Mom flashed a huge smile and we laughed together. I’ve been fueled by that moment all day long as we try and discern the path forward for and with my mom.

Much as I would like to see everyone in the circle, I am on-call at the moment, and in the weeks ahead will be navigating some Big Grief. I need to suspend the circle.

The circle will return, but for now, it is time to step into the unknown. 

For those who might be interested, here’s a 30-minute video about my mom’s life and work: https://vimeo.com/393793347

Barbara Bader Aldave, aka Mom, is a force of nature. If anyone deserves to rest, it is she.

With all my love,

Anna

Though I am fighting a bug and cannot host the circle this week, I hope you will enjoy a quote that really says it all:

“This is the true joy in life, being used for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one. Being a force of nature instead of a feverish, selfish little clod of ailments and grievances, complaining that the world will not devote itself to making you happy. I am of the opinion that my life belongs to the community and as long as I live, it is my privilege to do for it what I can. I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work, the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake. Life is no brief candle to me. It is a splendid torch which I have got hold of for the moment and I want to make it burn as brightly as possible before handing it on to future generations.” 

                                                                                    –George Bernard Shaw

Until next week (it will happen one of these days, I promise!), with love,

Anna

It has been a hectic week and it’s only Tuesday. My mom was in the hospital for a few days before she was discharged this afternoon. I’m supporting my folks as they settle back in at home, attempting to help them weave more caregiving help into their schedule over my dad’s (softening) objections.

Tonight, as my mate, son, and parents all settled into their usual places in my parents’ living room after dinner, I felt in my bones how graced these past days have been, and perhaps even more, how graced our lives have been the past 3 years we’ve been cooking and eating together in the evenings. 

The eyes of the ancestors are always upon us; we are held ever in Heaven’s gaze. 

Perhaps the greatest miracle isn’t that we live our lives witnessed by Love, but that every so often, we glimpse the truth that this is so.

There will be no soul-tending circle this week. I hope to see you in the circle next week. 

The heart is like a canyon.

In much the same way wind and water transform common sandstone into a living cathedral, the heart is carved out by the wild wisdom ways of embodied existence on the planet.

It hurts, this process of being shaped and re-formed through direct engagement with the mighty river that roars through the soft tissue of embodied existence.

For many years, I held Life at arm’s length, preferring thought over action, favoring the intellect to the river of feeling that carves a path through me.

But now I prefer my Life this way: hands-on. 

My heart aches as I reflect on feeding my mother with a spoon for the first time at dinner. She’s not been eating much of late, but at least she’s not hungry tonight. 

Feeling wells up in me, also, for the beautiful young woman suffering from psychosis who I helped move into one of our communities this week. Alone, afraid, and in crisis, this young woman may not be able to sleep tonight, but at least she’s not out on the streets.

So little we can do about the winds and rains of Life, so little we can do to shore up the sandstone of our fragile lives.

But in the wreckage of what we’ve known, what beauty!

There’s no stopping the river of time, nor taming the forces of Life. 

I, for one, hope to welcome this great wild wind and raging river into my heart so that it, too, might become spare, weather-beaten, and wise.

I hope you can join us for the circle this week. All are welcome.

RSVP

Our free soul-tending circle will be held this week on Friday, April 7, from 4-6 pm PST/7-9 pm EST.

Email your interest to anna “at” gaiaanimism “dot” com for this week’s zoom invitation.  All skill levels are welcome.

The rains have returned to Oregon this spring after a dry winter.

The mosses have grown soft and generous, the winter creeks again sing, the grasses are greening, and our chickens are laying eggs faster than we can distribute them.

The natural abundance of the season has been spilling over into my dreams as well: each morning this past week I have awakened with an idea for a new written piece.

With the land arrayed in emerald finery once again, I encounter this spring with a mixture of relief, gratitude, and grief.

The seasons as we have known them are no longer a sure thing.

This rain, these green moss-covered rocks, and those wild turkeys congregating on my lawn to mate both herald the changing season and serve as a reminder of the natural splendor we’ve lost–and are actively losing–during the course of our lifetimes.

Perhaps you will join me in noticing, experiencing, and savoring what we might have taken for granted before the Season of Change entered our lives.

I hope you can join our circle this week.

RSVP

Our free soul-tending circle will be held this week on Friday, March 31, from 4-6 pm PST/7-9 pm EST.

Email your interest to anna “at” gaiaanimism “dot” com for this week’s zoom invitation.  All skill levels are welcome.

I’m partial to this time of year when a riot of new life arises from muddy earth and birdsong and fragrance fill the air. 

Perhaps, like me, you can feel the forces of Life rising up from the dark nurturing realms of soil and soul, seeking expression through us and out into the world.

What seeds will you plant in the garden of your life this growing season? Or perhaps you are called to let the land of the Self lie fallow, practicing the discipline of resting fully and well.

Whatever the case, I invite you to join us for a special soul-tending circle on the eve of my 56th birthday. 

Together, let us celebrate, share, and find ways to honor Gaia’s invitation to new beginnings through our very beings and lives.

I hope you can join us this week.

Way of Council

When we meet in our weekly circle, we use the Way of Council to surface our intentions for the journey using the sacred drumbeat:

When listening, listen from the heart without analyzing, agreeing, or disagreeing.

When speaking, speak from the heart, naming what is alive right now.

Be lean of expression, going to the core of what needs to be spoken.

Be spontaneous, trusting what comes, rather than what one has rehearsed or what one thinks should be said.

With deep respect for each others’ privacy and the transiency of the moment, we keep confidence regarding what is spoken, not engaging with participants over what is said nor sharing specific content with others.

RSVP

Our free soul-tending circle will be held this week on Friday, March 24, from 4-6 pm PST/7-9 pm EST.

Email your interest to anna “at” gaiaanimism “dot” com for this week’s zoom invitation.  All skill levels are welcome.

Whatever your worries, cares, or concerns, there is also beauty. 

This week, perhaps you can find some time to just sit, maybe watching the moonrise over the hill, noticing the snowflakes as they fall to the ground, or savoring the sounds of the treefrogs singing and car tires splashing outside your window.

Just sit. What are you noticing?

I look forward to gathering with you in the circle this week. 

Way of Council

When we meet in our weekly circle, we use the Way of Council to surface our intentions for the journey using the sacred drumbeat:

When listening, listen from the heart without analyzing, agreeing, or disagreeing.

When speaking, speak from the heart, naming what is alive right now.

Be lean of expression, going to the core of what needs to be spoken.

Be spontaneous, trusting what comes, rather than what one has rehearsed or what one thinks should be said.

With deep respect for each others’ privacy and the transiency of the moment, we keep confidence regarding what is spoken, not engaging with participants over what is said nor sharing specific content with others.

RSVP

Our free soul-tending circle will be held this week on Friday, March 10, from 4-6 pm PST/7-9 pm EST.

Email your interest to anna “at” gaiaanimism “dot” com for this week’s zoom invitation.  All skill levels are welcome.

Weather. Car accidents. ER and doctor visits. Loss. Bills. 

Laughter. New friends. Time with loved ones. Soft landings. Purpose and joy.

Learning to welcome the unexpected, much as one might welcome a wise elder into one’s home, seems to be a chief teaching of climate change.

My idea of disaster preparedness is to spend time in meditation, be it on the cushion or in my sit spot, so I can keep my wits about me when things spin out, as things invariably do, and will more often.

Part of my devotion to Gaia, I have realized, is training to be present with whatever is happening in the life of our planet.

I need to practice sitting and feeling my messy self daily so I might find the courage to open my heart to the unexpected in the midst of these scrambled seasons. 

It takes work to show up well when wildfire smoke chokes the skies or the car finds its way into a ditch during a freak snowstorm.

But I am here for it. And so, apparently, are you. 

Way of Council

When we meet in our weekly circle, we use the Way of Council to surface our intentions for the journey using the sacred drumbeat:

When listening, listen from the heart without analyzing, agreeing, or disagreeing.

When speaking, speak from the heart, naming what is alive right now.

Be lean of expression, going to the core of what needs to be spoken.

Be spontaneous, trusting what comes, rather than what one has rehearsed or what one thinks should be said.

With deep respect for each others’ privacy and the transiency of the moment, we keep confidence regarding what is spoken, not engaging with participants over what is said nor sharing specific content with others.

RSVP

Our free soul-tending circle will be held this week on Friday, March 3, from 4-6 pm PST/7-9 pm EST.

Email your interest to anna “at” gaiaanimism “dot” com for this week’s zoom invitation.  All skill levels are welcome.

I hope you will join us this week.

For those who don’t know, I am currently studying to become a community-engaged Buddhist minister with the Zen Peacemaker’s Order: https://zenpeacemakers.org/

From my reading this week in Infinite Circle: Teachings in Zen, by Bernie Glassman, founder of Zen Peacemaker’s International:

“We don’t go to the other shore; the other shore comes to us. Something happens and we awaken to the realization that under our feet lies the shoreline. 

This very body is the Buddha, and all the sounds of the world–everything that happens as is–are the Buddha’s teachings.

Everything in Zen is present perfect tense. There is no future, no past–it’s all now.

There’s nowhere to go, nowhere to reach, it’s all here, all One Body, one thing. Since we are already here, we are already at the end of the path and we are also at the beginning. 

We don’t practice to become enlightened, we don’t practice to realize something, we practice because we are enlightened.”     

Way of Council

When we meet in our weekly circle, we use the Way of Council to surface our intentions for the journey using the sacred drumbeat:

When listening, listen from the heart without analyzing, agreeing, or disagreeing.

When speaking, speak from the heart, naming what is alive right now.

Be lean of expression, going to the core of what needs to be spoken.

Be spontaneous, trusting what comes, rather than what one has rehearsed or what one thinks should be said.

With deep respect for each others’ privacy and the transiency of the moment, we keep confidence regarding what is spoken, not engaging with participants over what is said nor sharing specific content with others.

RSVP

Our free soul-tending circle will be held this week on Friday, February 24, from 4-6 pm PST/7-9 pm EST.

Email your interest to anna “at” gaiaanimism “dot” com for this week’s zoom invitation.  All skill levels are welcome.

I hope you will join us this week.

Exploring the patterns beneath the rush of our days with the help of the sacred drumbeat can restore a sense of beauty and coherence to an otherwise jumbled experience. 

Deep meaning never leaves us, but daily immersion in the rough and tumble energies of our world can draw us out of our center and scatter us in all directions. 

That’s okay; it’s good for us, even. Life is here to teach us to exercise choice, whatever our circumstances. 

Making time for practices that center us, help us connect to a larger reality, and restore peace and ease to memory is as much a political as a spiritual act. 

We can’t change our world with the same busyness that sustains these systems in their current form.

From one of Daniel Ladinsky’s renderings of the poetry of Hafiz:

First

the fish 

needs to say:

“Something ain’t right 

about this 

Camel ride…

and I’m feeling 

so damn

THIRSTY.”

Like water for the soul on a long desert crossing, I hope you can join us this Friday for two hours dedicated to community, beauty, and soulfulness. 

RSVP

Our free soul-tending circle will be held this week on Friday, February 10, from 4-6 pm PST/7-9 pm EST.

Feel free to email me at anna “at” gaiaanimism “dot” com for this week’s zoom invitation.  All skill levels are welcome.